I have had 2 nuts come off the k&n filters, 1 on my mr2 another on another car, they are only very light material and tack welded on, not 1 piece with the main filter body. They make putting the filter on and un-doing it if its NOT super tight easy, and have a hole through it for lock wire (required in some drag racing)
 
I have a 3 claw that was correct size, dug in very well, also for bigger filters use the seatbelt and bar type, with a spanner on the end, just gets tighter and tighter, if oily it spins, but eventually digs in and deforms the filter, which alows it to grab
 
 

Yeah I've read that somewhere else that someone's had that issue with them breaking.
Mine just won't grip on to it at all and it gets smaller than that but as soon as it closes down on it, it just spins. I had double side tape on all 3 prongs and and around the new filter just trying it out in my hand and just after a little bit of a twist it slips. And of course I tried it just mormally an it was even more useless. Even on my brothers larger filter for his prelude it didn't work

As has been mentioned, get the proper Toyota filter wrench, makes it easy.
Before I got a wrench the only way I could loosen it was with  a webbing wrap around  type of filter wrench, but you had to be careful to avoid the dipstick, and you needed to place the webbing close to the end of the filter to avoid crushing.
 
Another thing you may consider to avoid burnt fingers, is to crack the filter while it is cold, just enough to break it loose.
It won't leak while you warm up the motor prior to draining.

From what I've read, the most common reason an oil filter gasket leaks is from over tightening.
This can cause the filter case/baseplate, or the O ring to distort. 
 
The manufacturers instructions are generally on the filter box.
Many say to oil the O ring and only tighten about 3/4 of a turn after the first resistance is felt.